The patient, named above

The patient, named above is a project that I have been working on to share and reflect on my experience with Bounce Back Canada – a suicidal prevention program. The piece involves a silk banner which showcases one of my medical records from this program and hangs over a bed of sugar. Amongst the bed of sugar, swims another silk medical record; it is also redacted using embroidery thread, except for the phrase: ‘patient, named above’. This sentence was one that came up throughout my medical records that made me frustrated. This language and vocabulary made it seem as though these records were already made, these sentences and words already formed, ready for someone to fill in my numbers. It is as if psychiatric medical records are like cookie cutters, forming and placing all of their patients under the same mold. Have you ever tried to contain sugar in a mold or a cookie cutter? It spills out, leaking everywhere.

The sugar in The patient, named above is no exception. It cannot be contained, it cannot fit into any mold, just like a mental illness. Although my own experience with suicidal ideation involves me persisting as I ‘did not endorse in suicidality’, many others have experienced a different story. This piece uses my experience to showcase that although I am lucky enough to have risen from the sugar, many others have melted into it.